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September 2, 2013

What To Do When You Really Screw-up

bigstock-wrong-way-making-a-mistake-err-39651466I am such a typical Latina sometimes.  You are probably wondering what I mean by that.  You may have even been slightly offended wondering what’s coming next.  That’s all okay.  I get it.  Believe me if I was sitting on the other side of that screen I would be waiting for your next words as well.  But, my darlings do not fret.  I made that statement with the greatest love and respect for my community and myself.

Now, I’ll clarify.  I, like many Latinas, tend to be incredibly hard on myself.  Like my sisters, I have struggled against being riddled with guilt and, at times I find myself easily navigating towards worry.  It has taken years of personal and spiritual development, deep searching and reflection, and hours upon hours of meditation to get myself to a better place.  And yet, now and then, I can find myself tossed back into the land of anxiety – that place in my brain and mind so easily traveled to because it’s just all too familiar.

This happened to me the other day when I made an error that not only cost me financially but more importantly, directly hurt someone I deeply love.  My action was completely benign, and of course, I meant no malice, but nonetheless, my actions had profound consequences.

After crying for hours and conjuring every possibility of how I could have avoided the situation, including creating a time machine that would allow me to transport myself back to that one critical moment where things could have played out quite differently, I realized that I was not doing myself any good keeping myself in this state.  After indulging in my pity party, I became what I like to call my own “curious observer.”

In order to become the curious observer I had to step outside of myself for a bit of time.  I actually imagined myself stepping out of my body and looking at myself without criticism or judgment, but just curiously observing what I did and how my actions led me to my current predicament.  As I examined the situation, I had quite a few revelations that helped me understand what had occurred.  I also accepted the fact that I could not go back in time and change anything, but I could choose to learn from the mistakes I made that day.  There was so much value in my error and so much truth about the parts of me that still need a lot of work.  I decided to hold myself in a place of compassion and forgiveness just like I would do for anyone else.  I allowed the pain to pass through me but not take a hold of me.  I chose to remember that I am a divine being living on this earth to learn as much as I can and evolve my soul.  I also know that the hardest lessons can bring the greatest gifts and understanding about who I am in this world.

This is why I love being a coach, a writer, and a bloguera. I take my fingers to a keyboard to iron out my deepest pain and along this journey I pray that my words help so many others along the way!

¡Pa’lante Siempre! ¡Con Luz y Paz! ¡La Vida es un Tesoro!

(Forward Always! With Light and Peace! Life is a Treasure!)

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