Love and Money
Guest Blogger, Diana Quinones.
I was recently led to read The Money Keys by Karen Russo. I say led, because I believe there are no accidents. Reading this book has been an eye opening or rather an “I” opening experience on not only money but also love. It is my hope to share this journey with you and create a dialogue where we can create a community of abundance and love in all areas of our lives.
The Money Keys is really about using three universal laws, the Law of Unity, the Law of Cause and Effect, and the Law of Circulation to help us get out of what Russo calls the Money Traps of scarcity, superstition, and survival.
The first money trap that many of us live in or have lived in is scarcity. According to Russo, “Scarcity is the anxiety-ridden idea of lack. You feel there is a lack of money, time, resources, deals, creativity, people, and supply. Where there is scarcity, there is fear, anxiety, worry, tension, hoarding, hiding, and withholding. Many of the individual, group and global conflicts in life result from the idea of scarcity.”
The truth is however, scarcity is a lie! And I know that! Inside, my being, in my truest essence, I know that scarcity is a lie. However, something inside me and inside a lot of us assumes that scarcity is the truth. It is a false power that has taken hold on many us, myself, and many that I love.
Living a life filled with scarcity is all too familiar. I remember living in this space for years, wondering is this it? Is this what life is all about? After two degrees, from prestigious universities, is this all I have to account for it? Debt, owing tax money, not making ends meet at the end of the month, behind on my rent. Life was a constant struggle that was filled with constant stress, anxiety, and fear. It was filled with this feeling of being alone.
Not only was I operating from a place of scarcity in my personal finances, I was also experiencing the same scarcity in my love relationships, or in some periods of life, lack of love relationships. As, I continued to read The Money Keys, it was eerie in how I could replace the word money with love.
Not only was my financial life a place of resentment, struggle, anger, doubt, and insecurity, so was my love life. It was like the way I was operating in my financial life, was also the same place I was coming from in my relationships. If you could call them that. For the past 8 years, I have been in relationships with men, that were clearly not going anywhere, that were clearly causing me discomfort, and were clearly, leaving me again with this feeling of being alone and feeling insecure. Once, again, I was asking myself, is this it? Is this the love that is out there for me? The scarcity mentality was not only operating with my finances it was also permeating into my romantic relationships.
In my money life and my love life, it was as if I wasn’t worthy of more. It was like I was in overdrive, taking this passive role when it came to men and money. In dating I was coming from a place of lack, of loneliness, of craving affection, but also not willing to put myself out there. In fact, I wasn’t really willing to commit emotionally because I was bitter and angry, at the plight I had been dealt, and was feeling like the options were pretty shitty. It was a place of scarcity! There are no good men, not enough love out there, just like there is not enough money, to make ends meet! So, I’ll just get it when I can, and make it last as long as it can, but it certainly wasn’t going to last forever. That’s how scarce it was.
But the truth is scarcity is a lie! It is a big lie that holds a lot of power over us if we let it. The truth is that we make choices. The truth is we don’t have to let scarcity run our lives.
We can choose in fact to operate in the Law of Unity. Russo writes about this universal spiritual principle, that underlies wholeness, “The Law of Unity.” And the law of unity says that all of life is connected to and from one infinite eternal source.
We often keep our spirituality separate from our finances and separate from our love lives. Russo in her book talks about the years of personal and spiritual development based on growth and abundance while at the same time keeping these values separate from the work world.
How many of us can relate? I know I could. On a personal level, I felt spiritual, connected to God, and to this infinite source, but when it come to money and relationships I did not feel the connection.
Here is the thing, “The secret to permanent peace of mind is not a dollar amount. It’s not a getting a lover or a job or an investment to give you more. It is choosing to serve a reality of wholeness rather than the specter of scarcity. When we know that wholeness is our source, we can be at peace. We’re rescued from that lonely land.”
What I took this to mean and affirm is that how we think about money (and in my case love), our mentality, hence the money traps, is what sets us up for scarcity or abundance, love, and success!
Although this was supposed to be a book about money, it is after all called The Money Keys, and while it was about money for me, I am realizing that it is also about love and relationships. It is about self-love and healing, and knowing inside that we live in world of wholeness, and abundance, and that we really are connected to the divine. We are divine. And there really is more than enough of everything we need and desire.
Today, I read a part in chapter 6 I think, that asked, what are we using to connect to the divine – is it a thimble, a bucket, or a reservoir. And, today I imagined that I created space in my life for the abundance of God, the size of a reservoir, then I pictured a river, and then I was like no, an ocean actually. That’s how open I am to receiving abundance and also to giving, but that would probably be another essay.
The point is that today, I am willing to connect to a divine source, and that I am choosing to not live in the world from a place of scarcity, but rather from a place of infinite love and abundance. And yes, it will take work; it will take action, learning, and figuring out my finances, checking to see what is depleting me, and what is allowing me to grow. I will also be doing the same in my relationships. There are some relationships that come from a place of lack, that deplete my energy, that don’t allow me to move in the world from an abundant place. And just like in my budget, there are some things that really are no longer needed, like eating out, when it is not worth the cost, because it makes me broke, when I can make a satisfying loving meal myself, and actually feel healthy and whole. I can also clean out, any relationships that are draining me and keeping my soul and my spirit from feeling healthy and whole.
Coming from a place of infinite love, anything is possible!
Diana Quiñones is a writer of science fiction and fantasy who sometimes dabbles with poetry and essay writing. Her writing explores magic and spirituality while examining issues of race, class, and gender. She takes an honest look at how women construct their truths. Her work is an opportunity for us to shed light on our darkest selves and live in integrity with our highest selves. In addition, to reading an excerpt from her science fiction novel, at the New York City Latina Writer’s Group 7th Year Anniversary celebration, her poetry was also selected for publication the book, Love & Light: A Collection of Inspirational Stories & Poems.